Photo Credit: Sculpture near Lake Constance, South Germany on Canva

Becoming an Under Eater

How I Let Go of Compulsive Overeating

My fear of over eating has left me.

My fear of being over weight has left me.

My shame is ready to follow close behind my fear, in a bold ‘Kiss My Ample Ass’ curtsy.

In this past year, I have lost more than 30 pounds. I have been here before, about a dozen times for a total of around 250 lost and found pounds.

I see beauty in fat, thin, tall, short and different bodies. I am only talking about giving up fat that I did not need, that was indeed weighing me down.

All my life, I have been plagued by falling into the abyss of overeating, of some weird gremlins driving me to stuff myself, past the point of comfort to a distorted place of brain fog, sluggishness and self loathing.

I learned early how to eat shamefully. My mother, father and two sisters were also overweight and we habitually stuffed down our familial dysfunction with food. I filled a perceived hole in myself with processed, gross sweets that made me feel drugged and numb.

Its been decades of struggle.The fear and shame about over eating has burdened and weighed down my internal mental landscape, choking and…